After working with couples for 15 years, I have been able to narrow down 3 significant types of relationship dynamics as well as which one provides the most happiness and success, overtime.
Take this quiz to determine which relationship dynamic most aligns with you. Then map out your relationship goals and decide what’s next on your growth journey together!
3 Types of Couples
Enduring Couple
This couple is usually moving along in life with no real road map for relationship success. At times, they feel overwhelmed, stressed & disconnected. They experience emotional intimacy or sexual blocks and are unsure how to navigate those conversations successfully together.
Difficult conversations are usually swept under the rug or they try to communicate with each other but it often ends up with 1 or both partners feeling defensive, not good enough or misunderstood.
They experience happy times & low times but have some trouble finding a more peaceful, easy flow within daily life.
My couples often report that life feels like a rollercoaster with minimal direction on how to come together fluidly as a team.
Defensiveness, escalation or complete shut down is often the bi-product of disagreements.
Their emotional and sexual needs are not met as often as desired and there is a tendency to feel “stuck” in 1 or more areas of their relationship.
I have been through this stage personally before & the solution is to get resourced and grow together. (The enduring couple is about 50% percent of the couples I work with and it’s totally normal).
Enduring Couple Pros:
- Despite the relationship’s ups and downs, these couples love each other unconditionally.
- They often have a great friendship at the core of their partnership but life’s responsibilities, roles, kids, family dynamics and/or personal/work stressors get the best of them at times.
Empowered Couple
It’s all about getting prepared for the empowered couple & they typically do pre-marital work to ensure they are successful.
They have the fundamentals down for the most part and when they run into an issue, they don’t hesitate to find a solution to the problem.
There is 1 significant difference between the empowered couple and the evolving couple, which is that the empowered couple doesn’t usually continue the growth work when things are “smooth sailing.” (The empowered couples are about 30% of my clientele).
Empowered Couple Pros:
- The empowered couple is emotionally intelligent and intentional about how they run their relationship.
- They are often in conversation about what’s working and what’s not & they are not afraid of conflict.
- They usually find ways to turn towards each other, even and especially during conflict to find a solution that works for both of them.
- They are resourced with strategies for how to manage conflict successfully.
- They know that making their relationship a priority is the “secret sauce” to living a beautiful, peaceful life together.
Evolving Couple
This couple has dedicated their lifestyle to consistent growth overtime; as they have built a “growth culture” into the fabric of their relationship, year in and year out.
Their motto is to continue to “grow into love,” rather than fall into any level of complacency.
They have many rituals, strategies & sacred interactions that enhance their connection daily, weekly, monthly etc.
They are devoted to deepening their bond and push the edges of their comfort zone emotionally, physically, sexually & spiritually by frequenting retreats, therapy, workshops, masterclasses, courses & reading books that are geared towards relationship maintenance. (20% of my clients are all about evolving overtime & I love this kind of work)!
Evolving Couple Pros:
- The sky is not even the limit for the evolving couple. They are practiced in daily rituals that keep their relationship feeling invigorated, energized and passionate.
- They are trauma informed and respect each other’s previously lived experiences.
- A number 1 value is about creating and maintaining an emotionally safe and secure trustworthy bond.
- They are very mindful of their personal triggers and navigate them consciously.
- They communicate their desires whenever they arise and are in a never ending flow of peaceful connection, appreciation and emotional attunement.
- Conflict rarely phases them as they know how to nip things in the bud without it flowing into the rest of the day.
- There is a deep emotional maturity with this couple & you can often feel it in their energetic frequency when together.
- They are light, playful and pleasure is intentionally woven into the fabric of their core relationship values.
- Celebration and gratitude are the bedrock of their relationship.
- They respect each other’s differences and often celebrate those differences with mutual admiration.
- They value each other’s perspective, even when they are not in agreement and practice nervous regulation regularly.
- They celebrate each other’s sovereignty and simply “enjoy doing life” together, even when it feels stressful. The list goes on…
What type of couple are you?
How to Grow as a Couple
The Sacred Partners Membership covers all areas of growth and evolution, no matter which type resonates with you the most and I have done that intentionally.
When I created this year-long container, I knew I wanted to create something that would “grow with my couples overtime” as they journey through the different life cycles, seasons and transitions that all couples experience. My greatest desire for this membership is that all of our members, at every stage of life, feel supported, resourced and are able to connect in new, exciting and different ways together.
So whether you are just getting started or you are well on your way as a couple and looking to deepen your love & growth even more, the Sacred Partners Membership covers a wide variety of communication solutions, intimacy rituals, and core value mindset shifts that will up level your relationship and enhance what’s possible in love for you.
Making an informed decision about how to create, build and manage a healthy, tuned in and turned on partnership is a top priority if we want to thrive in love and our membership does just that and more!
Some of the major areas of focus are depicted in this graphic above so you get a good picture of what’s in store. I have created a “conscious relationship mapping” guide for my clients so they can navigate the 5 main stages of growth with clarity and ease.
All of these different stages will build on each other throughout our year long intensive membership program:
- Trauma Awareness & Discovery
- Personal Growth & Accountability – Advanced
- Communication Mastery – Beginner & Advanced
- Emotional Intimacy Rituals
- Sacred Sexuality & Connection
Please note: Each of these stages are weaved throughout all of my teachings and include both an individual and couple growth focus.
